unsung lyrics

ask me if i care
sit and stare
in the other direction

this life isn’t fair
be aware
of your own perception

killing you inside
you can’t hide
from your inner demon

take life for a ride
to confide
find your inner meaning

 

(hyper—hyperventilate
too much on my plate
hyper—hyperventilate
isn’t it great

hyper—hyperventilate
too much on my plate
hyper—hyperventilate
i can
barely breathe)

 

 

 

 

 

Angela Bachmann

Advertisements

twenty-two tabs open

what is earthing?
500 words a day
English literature jobs
Selena Gomez blonde
fishnet outfit Tumblr
Leo daily horoscope
short report- personal profile
natal chart report
“Steps” by Frank O’Hara
ram tattoo
free astrology reports
phd and mfa students
Frequently Asked Questions
Aquarius moon
feminist print art
Manifestation Secrets: 8 Manifestation Rituals
wrap a stone into a pendant
how to make cannabis topicals
Pinterest
what you need to cross-stitch curves
Fate and Furies: A Novel by Lauren Gruff
learn how to embroider letters

 

 

 

 

 

Angela Bachmann

i am a cynic

so much so
it makes me sick
creating plaques
for winning
biggest critic

can’t seem to shake
these sorry thoughts
cemented in
my mind

i know it’s time
to stop
my somber self
keeps feeding
off of failure

manifesting
brings me
so much sorrow
to my soul

i think i was
born whole
but years of yearning
turned me
into axes

i’ve hacked off
everything that
was left
of happy feels

there’s nothing now
to live for
and abandoning
my body seems

to be the
only choice
that i have
left

(but leaving means
this body
dies . . .
maybe that’s for
the best)

 

 

 

 

Angela Bachmann

metaphysics

don’t tell me i
don’t have Free Will
as you continue
taking pills
to numb the darkness
in your mind
keep acting like
everything’s fine
saying this is
how it must be
because you never
believe me
when i start to
speak otherwise
you don’t think that
i can be wise
without believing in
Determinism

 

 

 

 

Angela Bachmann

vacation with josh

i like the quiet mornings
when my thoughts are not enthralled
in the things i could be doing
straining stillness in my brain

now, thinking in this silence
of the book i had just read
like the voice used by the author
got stuck right inside my head

still i ponder the options
limited by my travels
i have packed some pens and pencils
a notebook and my sketchpad

i know i can do yoga
anywhere that i may please
how i love such activities
when they don’t need a suitcase

and we only checked one bag
when we flew down to Georgia
but i should probably shower
and get myself out of bed

i smell the coffee brewing
feel the pounding in my head
but the silence is so soothing
that i may lie for awhile

because there’s no agenda
beyond just simply being
at this moment and it’s freeing
knowing that this is my life

 

 

 

 

 

Angela Bachmann

returning home

is it confusion
movement
in the air
and it isn’t even
the smell of cat piss
on the blanket
by the door
that bothers me
but that it’s trapped inside
used to be my place
to hide and now
i live inside a prison

when i flew
three days ago
i came to realize
how close to death
that i could be
and that thought
it used to scare me
because i was so happy
and for a long time
that was lost
but then i finally
re-found it
and yet in that moment
i was craving
thoughts of suicide
again so that i could
enjoy the ride
i was returning home

but now i turn
the air off
for the first time
in a week
and i open all the windows
even though
the screen is cracked

 

 

 

Angela Bachmann

at the art museum

i go to enter a room
and the reverberating noise from a distant fan
makes me feel sick

i have just been lying in a room nearby
nearly pitch black
except for the projected images onto a screen against black wall
black couches
black floor

and heard voices of men speaking over
the voice of a woman
speaking about art
and images
and words

and yet beyond that room
was so much light
so many dim spotlights
directed towards the works of art
made in such a way that no photograph you ever took
could come out with a crisp
clear quality

and so i go back into another dark corner
one different than before and this time
not quite so bright the screen projections
not quite so dark the room

and as i am perched on a small stool
it occurs to me
that the words of the woman remind me
of Lana Del Rey
in the interlude of her 2015 studio album
(Burnt Norton, Honeymoon)
speaking of metaphysics and i think
to myself how possible it is
that none of this is real

but then it is revealed to me
that i am here alone
and i must enter back into the room
that fills my ear drum
makes me dizzy

and once i do i take a seat
spot my love across the way
and i wave

 

 

 

 

Angela Bachmann