Barren brick walls surround
me, speckled with imperfections
as I sit, motionless
for what seems like eternity.
I remind myself internally
that I am getting paid to be here
to justify my extreme lack of interest.
This room is quite unappealing
to me and my self esteem
drops rapidly as the glances
and the stares become
more frequent. My thoughts
remind me that I put this upon myself
willingly. I do not fear
being bare in front of these people.
My terror lies within
my own ability to accept
the body in which my spirit
was placed. The forced stillness
makes me feel both trapped and free.
I examine the freckled wall, and find
a blotch of darkness, one which
strikes me as different, and I let it
I am no longer in that room.
I am no longer in that body.
I am that speck of nothingness
on the wall.
The students continue to study me,
and I study
what most of them
will never even notice is there.
© NOTA, Spring 2015